Session Four: Grief

“Comfort, comfort my people, says the Lord.

Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare is ended,

that her iniquity is pardoned and that she has received double from the Lord’s hands.”

Isaiah 40:1-2

Grief is a universal human suffering.  It is a “heart-ache,” an inner suffering when something with which we’ve had an emotional attachment is taken away.  “Grief happens when there’s a hole in our heart.”  GENERALLY, the bigger the emotional attachment, the bigger the grief. 

• We often think of this in terms of the death close friend or relative, but how might grief result from the loss of something not ever alive? 

• “Molehills ARE mountains to ants!”   What is meant by that?  How can children experience grief?   Examples:  Friend or relative moves away, death of a pet.  How can we help children with what can be HUGE to them?  How can our early experiences with grief impact our later ones?

• “Grief is selfish.”  Agree/disagree?  Is such necessarily bad or does it necessarily make it any less real? 

• Elisabeth Kubler-Ross specified 5 stages to grief:

Denial:  “It’s not so!”

Anger:  “It’s not fair!”

Bargaining:  “Okay, but……” Let’s Make a Deal”   

Depression:  “Yes, it’s true and there’s nothing that’s going to change it…..”

Acceptance:  “Good-bye”  with no anger or depression expressed. 

Such should NOT be confused with feeling happy!  The “hole” remains!

• Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ advice for helping the grieving:

Be there.

Be real.   Embrace appropriate hope but don’t deny reality

Accept their feelings even if you don’t agree with them.

Be respectful.   Give them as such dignity and involvement as possible.

What would you ADD to her advise?

• If possible, share a time when you had the “hole-in-the-heart” of grief?  What helped YOU? 

Read Luke 7:11-17

• How did Jesus feel toward this mother (verse 13)?  Why?

• The woman was not alone!  What importance is there in that?  (See Romans 12:15)

• Jesus says, “Don’t cry.”  Why? 

• While it seems Jesus CAN (and not infrequently does) extend life, and CAN (although perhaps rarely does) bring loved ones back from the dead, what comfort does this account give to the grieving?  

Read Mark 5:22-24, 35-42

• What did Jesus mean by “Do not fear?”   And “only believe?”

• What did Jesus mean by “sleeping?”

Read John 11:5-44

• Read verses 5, 23, 35 and 38.  What was Jesus’ reaction to this grief?

• What does Jesus mean by “sleep” in verse 11?

• What important aspect is revealed in verse 19?

• What faith does Mary reveal in verse 24?

• What did Jesus do?  Does He always raise people (only to die again)?  Does He always raise them? 

Read 1 Thessalonians 4:13 - 18. 

• Does Jesus say we are not to grieve?

• What does it mean, “as others who have no hope?”

• How can we comfort each other (verse 18)?

Read First Corinthians 15:20-22, 35-58

• Verses 20-22.  What central Christian point is here?   Why are all Christian funerals Easter celebrations?  How do they celebrate Jesus’ mission: “I have come that you may have life….”

• What glorious gospel is here?  What mystery is here?

Some Scriptures:

John 3:16 _________________________________________________________________

John 11:25-26 ______________________________________________________________

John 14:3 _________________________________________________________________

Romans 8:35-39 ____________________________________________________________

Romans 14:8 ______________________________________________________________

Philippians 1:21 ____________________________________________________________

Psalm 23:4 ________________________________________________________________

Psalm 33:18-19 ____________________________________________________________

Psalm 49:15 _______________________________________________________________

Matthew 5:4 _______________________________________________________________

Isaiah 53:3 ________________________________________________________________

Luke 22:41-44 ______________________________________________________________

Psalm 31:10-14 _____________________________________________________________

Psalm 30:5b _______________________________________________________________

Romans 12:15 _____________________________________________________________

Luke 6:21 _________________________________________________________________

Revelation 21:9-27 __________________________________________________________